Dear Dr. Politics: I have a wonderful job in an important American institution, with lots of influence and a great big office. (I even get a gavel!) I’m surrounded every day by more than 200 -- actually, more than 218, but who’s counting? -- very supportive colleagues who help me accomplish great things for the American people.
Lately, though, I feel that my influential position might be slipping away from me. The polls get uglier every week, and my opponents keep looking at me like I’m a dead woman walking. There’s even been a man with orange skin stopping by to measure the drapes in my office. Is there anything I can do to stem the tide?
Nervous Nancy
Dear Nervous: How about those miners? Wasn’t that the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen?
Dear Dr. Politics: I’m angry. It’s OK to be angry. In New York, there’s a lot to be angry about, so why shouldn’t I be angry? I’m mad as hell, to tell you the truth. I say what’s on my mind. If I offended anybody, I apologize.
So here’s my question: Why am I losing by 20 points?
Cranky Carl
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