Tea-Bagger and Birther,
Sanford and Ensign and
Rangel and Murtha,
But do you recall....
The year’s biggest players
of all?
. . . . .
Continue reading "Tune Up Your Voices: It's Another Ho-Ho-Horowitz Christmas!" »
Tea-Bagger and Birther,
Sanford and Ensign and
Rangel and Murtha,
But do you recall....
The year’s biggest players
of all?
. . . . .
Continue reading "Tune Up Your Voices: It's Another Ho-Ho-Horowitz Christmas!" »
Posted at 09:57 AM in Current Affairs, Election 2008, Lifestyle, Media, Obama Administration, Politics, Sports, Television | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Technorati Tags: Andy Warhol, Balloon Boy, Barack Obama, Christmas parodies, Christmas parody, Christmas songs, Going Rogue, Harry Reid, health care, holiday songs, Joe Lieberman, John Boehner, Levi Johnston, Mitch McConnell, Nobel Prize, Olympia Snowe, Sarah Palin, satire, Tiger Woods, Wall Street bonuses
“Good
evening, and welcome to another installment of ‘Global Glimpses.’ I’m James Prynterzink, joined as always by
Wendell Picapole.”
“Good
evening, James. There’s plenty to report tonight -- plenty of news happening
all around the world, in fact. And our lead story: President Barack Obama wraps
up a week-long trip to Asia, where he found difficult issues, and difficult
negotiations, with partners and rivals alike.”
“Absolutely,
Wendell. It was no doubt with some sense of relief that Mr. Obama made his
final stop a very friendly one in South Korea, a strong American ally. Of
course, even that part of the trip wasn’t without its problems demanding
attention -- most especially, what to do about the nuclear ambitions of that
rogue regime in neighboring North
Korea. Now -- “
“You
did it.”
“Now,
Mr. Obama and South Korean president -- “
“You
did it. I knew you’d do it.”
“South
Korean -- excuse me a moment. I did what?”
“You
said ‘rogue.’”
Continue reading "There's News, and Then There's Palin News" »
Posted at 12:34 PM in Books, Current Affairs, Election 2008, Media, Politics, Television | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
“ -- and we’re back. Time now to ask our Pack o’
Pundits for the big takeaways from Tuesday’s election results. What did you
guys see in all those numbers? And what does it all mean?”
“No
question about it, Joe: It was a great night for the Republicans. Barack Obama
comes out of Election Day a very damaged brand. The voters made it absolutely
clear that they don’t support his activist agenda, and they think he’s been a
complete failure at getting this economy up and running like he promised to do.
He’s definitely on the ropes.”
“No
question about it, Joe: It was a great night for the Democrats. The GOP comes
out of Election Day a very damaged brand. There’s a civil war going on between
the few remaining Republican moderates on the one hand, and the Sarah
Palin/Glenn Beck/tea-party crew on the other. They’re ripping their party apart
in the name of purity.”
Continue reading "Post-Election Punditry: "It's Perfectly Obvious..."" »
Posted at 01:18 PM in Current Affairs, Media, Obama Administration, Politics, Television, Weblogs | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Technorati Tags: 2009 Election, Barack Obama, Bill Owens, Blue Dog Democrats, Bob McDonnell, Chris Christie, Creigh Deeds, Dede Scozzafava, Doug Hoffman, election analysis, Election Day, election night, election punditry, Jon Corzine, New Jersey results, New York 23rd, TV pundits, Virginia results
WARNING:
This column could lead to alligators in your toaster oven.
There are people out there who actually value a good, honest, fact-based and data-driven debate about reforming the nation’s health-care system.
Pity.
That’s because the chance of our actually having a good, honest, fact-based and data-driven debate about reforming the nation’s health-care system is roughly equivalent to the chance of Sarah Palin being chosen the next poet laureate of the United States.
(In other words, don’t bet the ranch.)
But does that make the current debate worthless? Hardly -- at least for those of us who enjoy watching the way politics and policy occasionally interact with the English language. For us -- the few, the masochistic -- the battle over health care has been an absolute treasure trove of linguistic innovation.
And it’s not just the instantly memorable phrases like “death panels” or “tea parties.” It goes way beyond that. The health-care debate has birthed an entirely new tense!
Continue reading "Inventing the Latest Health-Care Scares" »
Posted at 11:10 AM in Current Affairs, Health, Media, Obama Administration, Politics | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Surprised?
Why would you be surprised?
A
congressman shouts at the president. A Member of Congress shouts “You lie!” at
the President of the United States -- right there in the halls of Congress,
right there in the middle of a major presidential address -- and everyone
claims to be stunned.
Everyone
hasn’t been paying attention.
Continue reading "Joe Wilson: Just Another Heckler in the Crowd" »
Posted at 12:13 AM in Current Affairs, Media, Obama Administration, Politics | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
My
friends, I bring good news today!
For
months now, you’ve been feeling out of sorts, and ill at ease. The state of our
nation has you and your loved ones deeply concerned -- and why not? Every time
you turn around, there seems to be another battle breaking out among our
elected officials, another broadside launched against those whose job it is to
lead us through these troubled times.
And
just when you think the battles couldn’t be any more strident, the criticism
any more pervasive, we reach another new low:
Continue reading "School Daze: That Speech was Controversial?!" »
Posted at 09:30 AM in Current Affairs, Health, Media, Obama Administration, Politics | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Obama
to press health-care reform in speech to joint session of Congress.
Ripped
from the headlines
[Deep
inside a large white house...]
“...and that’s when we’ll need your final edits, so we can get it loaded on the prompter.”
“Final
edits. Got it.”
“No
changes after that.”
“Got
it. Now all I have to do is write it.”
“That’s
why you get the big desk, Mr. President.”
“I
knew there had to be a reason. Now, you guys tell me what you’re hearing from
-- “
“Actually,
Mr. President...”
“David?”
“One
more thing before we move off the logistics.”
Posted at 10:56 AM in Current Affairs, Health, Media, Obama Administration, Politics | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
If I were Dick Cheney -- not to worry; the Lord works in mysterious ways, but there are limits -- I’d be kicking up a fuss, too. A really good fuss.
I’d
be scowling for whatever sympathetic cameras I could still find. I’d be
flinging accusations of political payback, or institutional ingratitude, or
diplomatic naiveté at the people who succeeded me.
I’d
even let the occasional curse word fly, just to prove to one and all how ticked
off I am.
If
I were Dick Cheney, in other words, I’d probably be doing exactly what Dick
Cheney is doing.
It
beats going to prison.
Posted at 01:38 PM in Current Affairs, Election 2008, Foreign Affairs, Media, Obama Administration, Politics | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Or
do you prefer the term “beach book”? Surrounded by quotation marks, that is,
like “fast food,” or “date movie.” “Beach book,” with its suggestion that
there’s one particular type of
book -- and only one particular
type of book -- that’s supposed to accompany you to the summertime house near
the large body of water.
(Sno-Cones
optional.)
I
don’t buy it.
Neither,
apparently, does the current president of these United States.
Posted at 04:47 PM in Books, Media, Politics, Travel | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Page
28: “Sharing” of electronic medical records allows government to compile
PRIVATE DATA about millions of Americans, and make annoying prank calls on
important birthdays.
Page
61: Provides for annual checkups, and all body-temperature readings must be
made with rectal thermometers kept below 35 degrees Fahrenheit.
Page
97: If Grandma’s already dead, you have to pull the plug on Grandpa -- even if
he’s not sick!
Page
112: Requirement to remove all metal objects before certain diagnostic tests --
a plot to confiscate CONSTITUTIONALLY PROTECTED guns from anesthetized
Americans.
Page
164: Reimbursable examination robes will have slits in back AND front.
Page
170: Ban on easy-open pill bottles, part of government effort to make seniors
want to die sooner.
Page
245: In case of pandemic outbreak, nothing prohibiting SMALL CHILDREN from
being quarantined with chinchillas.
Continue reading "Scared Yet? 22 More Reasons to Fear Health-Care Reform" »
Posted at 12:54 PM in Current Affairs, Health, Media, Obama Administration, Politics | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)