Rick Horowitz

A Conspiracy Most Fowl (Or, "Fox in the Henhouse")

             So anyway, I turn my back on the news for a few days of sun and fun, and when I come back, everybody’s talking about contaminated Muslim eggs at Ground Zero.

            “Islamic Salmonella,” they’re calling it, and you can absolutely understand why it’s got people so upset. After all, what’s more American than eggs? This country was built on eggs! And the very idea that foreign chickens -- terrorist chickens! -- would try to infiltrate themselves into our food supply and drop their eggs on such hollowed ground --

            No way. That’s what people are saying: No way.

            And they’re not just saying it -- they’re shouting it. They’re even having demonstrations about it, with signs. And on certain cable channels, of course, contaminated Muslim eggs at Ground Zero is this week’s scandal of the century.

Science? Who Needs It?

         Me and the missus, we step on the scale the other day -- she’s down a pound, I’m down almost two. 

          So what’s all this hooey about an obesity crisis?   

          But that’s all you hear from the lamestream media, am I right? You’re getting fatter, I’m getting fatter. Everyone’s getting fatter. So how come I’m losing weight? And how come the missus is losing weight? You think the scale is lying to us? 

          The scale doesn’t lie.

           Unlike plenty of media types I can think of.

Not All the Turkeys Are in the Oven

             I can see it now like it’s an artist picture painted big and bright and hanging right in front of me, or maybe one of those high-def flat-screen things like Cousin Becca Lee is always showing off, which is why we wound up doing Thanksgiving at Cousin Becca Lee’s house in the first place, so we can all see what else she’s got.

            That, and Cousin Rufus has to be where his parole officer can find him.

Smoke-Free at Last! Smoke-Free at Last!

            [After years of opposition from business interests, Wisconsin’s legislature finally enacts a smoking ban for the state’s many restaurants and bars. Syndicated columnist Rick Horowitz sees the new law as just the latest chapter in a long -- and important -- story. Here’s the text of his recent commentary on Milwaukee Public TV’s “InterCHANGE” program.]

             Look, I admit it: I don’t cut tobacco much slack. Both my parents were smokers -- lots of cigarettes, over lots of years.

            My mother died of pancreatic cancer, which they say is a smoking-related disease.

            And my father? My father died of lung cancer.

            Just so you know where I’m coming from.

Move Over, Martha Stewart! It's Entertaining by Dianne Feinstein!

            Historic?  You bet it was.

            It was a game changer, a paradigm shifter. Things will never go back to the way they were, and it’s all because of what she did.

            I’m talking, of course, about Dianne Feinstein and her amazing breakthrough in home entertaining.