First spied the mighty continent ahead,
Up stepped young Mitch McConnell from his hiding place below,
Looked Columbus in the eye and then he said:
The only thing to do is start from scratch!
This is guaranteed to fail,
So we might as well just bail -- “
Then he tried to throw Columbus down the hatch.
As mighty Edmund Hillary to the top of Ev’rest climbed,
One final burst and he’d be at the peak,
Up stepped the sherpa Boehner (who was tanned from head to toe!),
Took a gulp of air and opened wide to speak:
The only thing to do is try again!
If you want to get it done,
Then it’s back to Level One,
And just do it bit by bit -- we’ll tell you when.”
All through the streets of Boston came the runners stride for stride,
A marathon to make the nation proud,
They staggered toward the finish line and as the millions cheered,
Eric Cantor’s voice was heard above the crowd:
The only thing to do is turn around!
We don’t care how far you’ve run --
We just tagged along for fun --
And we’d love to see you falling on the ground.”
So presidents and paupers, when you dream your special dreams,
Remember there are those with other goals,
Whatever’s good for you they view as something to be feared,
‘Cause they’d rather have their hands on the controls.
The only thing they shout both day and night,
Those McConnells, Cantors, Boehners,
And the rest of the complainers --
Who needs principles as long as you’ve got spite?
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Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist. You can write to him at email@example.com.