She Does It Her Way (Or "In the Wee Small Hours of Illusion")

            And now, the end is near,

            And so I say, “It’s just beginning.”

            The pundits had their fun,

            But we’re not done until I’m winning,

            The race goes to the strong,

            To those who live the “Do or die” way,

            So no, don’t pack it in,

            I count ‘em My Way.

             The del…egates are his,

            But there’s a diff’rent way to score them,

            To put me in the lead,

            I’ve just decreed that we’ll ignore them,

            We’ll say it ev’ry day --

            It’s just a tiny little lie way

            To put me back on top,

            I count ‘em My Way.

 

            Yes, there were times

            When some would shout

            That I should quit, I should drop out,

            I never flinched, I never caved,

            I only slightly misbehaved,

            I rocked their boats,

            I’ve got the votes:

            I count ‘em My Way.

           

            Each day, I soldier on,

            I seize upon some new statistic,

            The experts all say “No,”

            But they’re just so

            Misogynistic!

            The rules are made for chumps,

            For those who play that same old guy way,              

            The numbers make it clear,

            I count ‘em My Way.

 

            I’m here, I’ll stand and fight

            Until they come to a decision,

            My math is all my own,

            I’m really good at long division,

            I’m firm, I’m standing tall,

            In a “Reject me and I’ll cry” way,

            I’m master of my fate,

            I count ‘em My Way.

 

            For what is a plan?

            What is it worth?

            To grab the greatest job on earth,

            I’ll say the things that keep me in,

            I’ll say whatever helps me win,

            The record shows

            That’s how it goes:

            I count ‘em My Way!

 

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Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist.  You can write to him at rickhoro@execpc.com.